dark

I used to be terrified
to bring a barrel full of trash
out to the barn
at night
to the row of barrels
along a corrider leading
further into darkness
black scuttling feet
dust from hay
faint damp rich rotting smell
spiders
low growling hum
I had to run
back to the light

then for no reason
one night
I stood there
calm
belonging to the crowded
darkness
knowing I was
home

now I’m fine with darkness
but am terrified of the light
inside me
trying to get out